Memories & Reflections

The Present

2011-03-23T22:37:00.000-07:00

It hasn't been long since I wrote the last entry, has it? I wonder if this is purely coincidence or a matter that I simply can not comprehend. Just recently ( I think a couple of days to be exact), the person I was talking about came back. How about that! The following day, we're already communicating and planning of a get-together sometime soon.

I'm just glad he's safe. And also happy that he is home. I was really worried when the unfortunate happened in the place where he was at. Even my family asked about his safety. After all, he is my friend... first and foremost.

How long is the wait

2011-02-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

Perhaps to say that you are special to me is an understatement; with all honesty, I say you occupy that distinct place in my life. Not that I am romantically interested in you, but mainly because you are the one person who had the courage to let me know you are romantically interested in me and I believe you. From among the rest, I know the sincerity of your actions. For that I am grateful and I truly appreciate it.

I remember when we were in high school, where everything began, you gave me a card just before we were about to graduate. That time, you were rumored to be 'involved' with a girl from your class. In my mind for a moment then I thought you 'betrayed' me. How dare you say you are interested in me when in fact there's this other girl? Jealous? Not actually but my concern was that 'Had I been wrong to believe you that it is me whom you like?'. That question was answered a couple of years back, ten years after I asked that to myself. You personally told me there never was you and the girl.

Anyway, that card is probably the most romantic memento I got from high school. I can still remember the words verbatim. It says:

Practiced my lines over and over again,
Trying to make sure that I do not offend
When all I really wanted to say is...
I love you.

P.S. Wait til I show the world how much I really do.

I am not sure why I am remembering this now. Perhaps I am being nostalgic of our younger days. Looking at us now, it's silly to think none of us has ever involved in any romantic relationship. Maybe that answers the why. Does your note to wait still stands? How long do you intend to keep it? Are you yet to show it to the world? To me?

I had the liberty to share our history to a male friend. I wanted to hear how he would receive our story and his thoughts coming from a male perspective. I told him where you are now; what are your activities and where do we stand. We are clearly having friends status: contrary to all the unsuccessful efforts to pursue me when we were younger, now, we casually meet and dine with no further ado. Just as friends do. I told him that you are pursuing 'my dream', as I recall having shared it to you some time back. Remember, I even accused you of such act and you simply smiled. My friend had some interesting conclusions he shared to me after hearing the story. Ready?

He said that after all these years (fifteen to be exact), you still have deep feelings for me. Since you were not able to properly show them when we were younger, being the shy person that you are, you opted to come back as a better man. The mere fact that you pursue 'my' dream spells that. And also, all these years, you never once involved yourself to any romantic relationship. That is a show of loyalty. It was funny how he tried to make me understand this insight. I don't really know if that is the case. He also said that he thinks I have feelings for you. Feelings that I do not give a chance. Well, like I said earlier, it's not romantic in nature but rather because I have always felt honored with your sincere intentions.

I did not tell my friend about the card. I think it will only strengthen his theory. But looking at it now, was that really the case?

Two years ago, before you left to study abroad--and pursue my dream--the day before I flew to the States, you and I went together to our alma mater. We originally planned to visit our friend and see his new business site but it would be too time-consuming that we decided just to go to UP. On the bus terminal, my sister and her friend (who later became her boyfriend) saw us. The first thing her friend told her was that you are interested in me. He has no idea who you were but that single time he saw you he was able to conclude so. My sister and I were so surprised of his comment, perhaps that is something between men as we women claim as instinct. Silly because that time, we are like where we stand today--friends. Was that a hint? Is that an indication that my friend is correct?

More than a year ago you came back for a break and we, your high school friends, had a homecoming party for you. Of course, everyone knows about our history and decided to put us in the hot seat later that night. They asked us the question that bogged their minds from the start: Why had there been no 'us'? As usual they only got a smile for an answer. Then one of our friends asked you: "Isn't she okay for you?" Your prompt reply was: "She's not okay; she's more than okay!" Which I blatantly ignored out of embarrassment. Then they asked me: "What's wrong?" I said that in general, I would not want to put anyone in the cliff being involved in a relationship when I myself is not decided yet whether I will have my own family someday. Maybe it wasn't the best answer in a class reunion as they readily became silent. Then one male friend looked me in the eye and with all sincerity asked me to reconsider that thought.

So, too much recollection of the past here, back to the issue. Now, that triggered the nagging thought in my mind now. When you said wait twelve years ago, up until when did you mean it stands? Do you still expect me to do so? I didn't actually know if you had 'shown the world' what you said before. Somehow you left me something to think about.

Perhaps the question that I should probably ask myself now is, "Am I willing to wait?"

Quoting on Love

2010-04-14T23:11:00.000-07:00

This was taken from the musings of Kamiya Kaoru, in the fanfiction Only With You, written by Scented Candles:

She wondered what if would feel like to have a boy kiss her.
She'd never been kissed before.
She'd never had a boyfriend before in fact but it had never really bothered her.
She was a romantic but romance wasn't at the top of her lists of priority.
Still, sometimes she thought about what it would feel like to be in love and whether it would even happen to her or not.
She'd found a lot of boys handsome but she'd never been able to say that she loved them, not in the romantic sense.

Why do I feel like I know exactly what this means.... huh.

Reminiscing

2010-02-16T01:12:00.000-08:00

13 February 2010

This is to remember a wonderful person--my one true love--my Nanay.

Happy 8th birthday in heaven, Nanay. I love you. Forever.

Your daughter,
Len

I’m sorry for being mean.

2009-03-26T00:35:00.000-07:00

For lack of better word, I guess that’s the closest terminology to put it.

Yes, whether I admit or not, I am being mean to my oldest brother. I don’t want to. REALLY. But I guess he has to understand life that way even at that expense.

He is lacking responsibility and he wouldn’t flinch. We are all trying to help him but he makes himself helpless. I definitely hate to say that last statement. I love him and I want him to learn. Now I have to step up as a sister to help him realize that. We care for him very much, we cannot tolerate misbehavior.

Honestly, I am the only one from the family with whom he actually acknowledges reproach. He knows my words are true. He hears my father but he doesn’t heed. No, he’s not disrespectful; he just can’t be responsible for his actions. And for that, other complications arise. And other people—us, in the family—suffer.

My siblings and my father respect my role as the “mean sister.” I’m really sorry. I pray that you’d open your eyes, Kaka.

Pinay, you’re not making sense.

2009-03-16T01:06:00.000-07:00

Alright, I will take the defensive stance and say this: I’m not affected (or rattled) by the fact that most of my friends are either committed, engaged, married, have babies…etc, etc, other than be happy for them. And it's true.

Unfortunately for me, since most of them belong to one of the categories above (with two weddings this year and two babies on the way—these are four different people, by the way), I am not spared from the sniper scope of “questions” about my “status.” My NBSB status and the future that I intend to tread on is under study.

Which led to the earlier post on today’s reflection: I have not allowed my self to fall in love. At least, not yet.

Somebody cried: W-H-Y ??!

No response.

Today's reflection

2009-03-16T00:41:00.000-07:00

I have not allowed my self to fall in love. At least, not yet.

Perhaps that answers the other questions.

2009-03-16T00:38:00.000-07:00

Every time I look at her face I couldn’t keep my self from feeling bliss. Her smile surmounts everything else around me—she IS very happy. And I am ever joyful for her—for them. I love her and wanted only the best for her. She is my sister. My dear friend. My beloved Teeny. And as she nears that aisle, I rejoice with her. My best wishes to my best friend.

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

2009-03-12T17:59:00.000-07:00

Today is Grandma Merl's 81st birthday. She's celebrating in Daly City, CA.

Happy Birthday, Grandma! I miss you!

I pray for God's blessing of good health and joy in your life. You are loved.

Bambino Inspirations

2009-02-26T20:36:00.000-08:00

For a couple of days now, I’ve been watching a Japanese series called, “Bambino.” It’s about a young man who wants to become a skilled chef. He figured that being mentored by the pros in an Italian restaurant in Tokyo will make that dream happen.

Aside from the main actor whom I’m fond of, what makes this series very interesting for me are the words of wisdom that his mentors and colleagues are giving him. It gives me time to reflect on my own priorities and shortcomings. I am so inspired by the attitude of the main character and his focus to meet his dream. Last night, the statement that struck me the most was from the second-in-command chef, Kuwahara-san: “ If you cannot do what is in front of you, you don’t even have the right to your dream.”

I have a backlog on my library work and it certainly is something I’m not really fond of. But today, it’s going to be done.

Sad news

2009-02-10T17:25:00.000-08:00

I went home last night and heard the sad news: my father’s fave pet dog—Panda, died. He was really sad about it. I can tell. A few days before that, my brother’s puppy—Pucci died, too. That was a couple of weeks after the other puppies died. It seemed that the puppies aren’t strong enough yet. It was really sad. Right now, we only have two dogs.

Lunch @ the Beach House

2009-02-04T00:20:00.000-08:00

I had lunch with a friend. It’s nice to be around old company.

The other day, he finally got a hold of my new number (since my old number no longer exist) and insisted we talk. I promised to return his messages last night. I barely communicated though since domestic errands eat up the time thus, 'twas already late. In response, he invited me to lunch the next day. Embarrassed, I agreed. Fried bangus and barbeque were delicious after all.

We tried to catch up a little on each other’s busyness. I’m glad to have a little something for him from my exodus. He said he’s learning Japanese now as he might leave in April for his graduate studies in Japan. Wow. It was me who wanted that; now he’s heading for what I dreamed of. I’m happy for him.

They (him Crem & Tina) wanted to come over at our house for a visit—a welcome, I guess. I will have to confirm my calendar for a set date. It’ll probably be on the 15th.

I could say it was a good time. I enjoyed our lunch. Thanks, Chris.

A Day at the Beach

2009-02-03T19:22:00.000-08:00

The Lord is good and His mercies endure forever. His works are awesome and wonderful. Watch this.

Sonia

2009-02-03T18:35:00.001-08:00

We will surely miss her.

For Keeps

2009-02-01T20:58:00.000-08:00

I wish I could put the url for the wonderful ecard that goes with this message... Thank You, Lord for the gift of friends.

Dear Len--

You are certainly a living testimony to God's magnificent creative ability. May your birthday be filled with joys and fun. I know that it will be hard to be away from your family on this day, but remember that our Lord is surely with you and with them. I am praying for you as you continue to serve Him, follow His leading in your life, and seek His face daily. God bless you in all that you do. God prosper you in all that you do for Him. You add value to every life around you and every person that you meet. HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN JESUS!

In Christ,
PC

20 August 2k8
Daly City, CA

Goodbye, Sonia!

2009-02-01T18:28:00.001-08:00

My good friend, Bro. Mark, came home from the States last Tuesday. I was able to see him last night during our board meeting. He told me about the sad news. His wife, Sis. Nora, has to undergo surgery and radiation treatments in the next several weeks since the doctor found cancer cells in her breast. Although this is sad, it’s a blessing that they were able to catch it very early; at zero stage. This will make them stay for the U.S. for at least until May this year.

But the most shocking news really was about Sonia. She is a wonderful lady and great friend. Bro. Mark said that on the day of his departure going home, her daughter Jeannette called him because Sonia had a massive stroke. It was so deadly that she’s gone in five minutes—brain dead. I was really in shock and it barely sunk in my system yet. This is really a great loss; especially to the Racettes as they are best of friends for many years. She’s just 52.

I will surely miss Sonia. I thank God that we were able to spend more time with her the last time we were in the States. But the best news of all is knowing that she’s now with the Lord in heaven. Amen.

We love you, Sonia.

Children Ministry @ Bethel Christian Church SF

2009-01-27T18:17:00.000-08:00

I've always enjoyed teaching the young.

Grandma's Kitchen

2009-01-26T23:44:00.001-08:00

Surprise! Surprise!

2009-01-21T23:36:00.000-08:00

I know Teeny's planning to get married soon and, to some extent, expect her to consider before the end of the year. When I got back, I casually asked her about the wedding plans. It was to my great surprise (or should I say, shock!) to learn that the wedding is already set in May. Last week, I had to come to the designer to have my gown measurement taken.

My best friend's getting married! This is really overwhelming! But I'm very happy for her. I wish you all the best and favor from the Lord.

Missing Home

2008-10-08T20:50:00.000-07:00

"Absence makes the heart go fonder."

No doubt, I miss home. It helps that my family are sending me emails every once in a while. It's always a joy to hear from them. It wouldn't take long and I will be with them again.

An older sister will always be an older sister no matter where in the world she might be. At least that's how it is for me. I'm glad to be on call.

Thank you Lord for a privilege to serve you anywhere in the world. Amen.

The best get-together!

2008-06-11T19:24:00.000-07:00

I had a chance to host a reunion of my closest friends in high school. Most of them came, except for a married gal and two others now living abroad.

Naldo (Vincent), Chris (Red Ranger), Tuning (Weirdo), Crem (Mr. Escort), and Tina (Ms. Crush ng Bayan) were present. And my Sunday evening was complete.

It is a despedida party (bon voyage) as I will be away from home for a few months. There’s a lot of sharing and reminiscing of present and past days and all the childish gestures of sorts are still visible. I’m really happy to see all of them and it felt really good.

So many revelations (childish, unexpected high school stories) were told. Old ties and relationships were renewed (?) and the undying “Red Ranger-Sailormoon” love team was put on the hot seat (Yes, I was Sailormoon.).

Tina is more beautiful than ever. Chris and Naldo both gained weight. Tuning is still payat (thin/slim, perhaps, my male version) and so is Crem. They are all busy with their careers/profession but seemed content. Tina works at a German company; Tuning holds supervisory post in a large industrial plant; Naldo works for an oil company; Crem works in a renowned hospital; and Chris teaches Math in the University.

Naldo and his girlfriend had a business venture in UP Los Baños and they invited us to see the opening. Chris invited me to come. We will be going on Monday before I leave.

My brother’s wedding

2008-05-27T14:42:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, May 24th, my brother and sis–in-law had their Christian wedding a year after they had their civil wedding. It was an awesome experience especially for all of us in the family, given that most of us are part of the ceremony.

Archie was the Best Man. Tan is one of the secondary sponsors while Aina danced for the bouquet ceremony. I was the MC and I requested Kuya Arnel to join me. The Racettes, Apple, and Ate Marie came. Crem fetched me and brought me home with my sislies.

They said the entire program/ceremony went well and (very) organized. Thanks. Pastor Aries was the coordinator. Tatay was very handsome in barong. And of course, the couple looked fantastic! It was fun to witness the ceremony and more fun to be with relatives and friends I don’t always see but on occasions.

Happy Birthday, Jai!

2008-05-07T15:33:00.000-07:00

It's Jai's birthday! Happy birthday to my cheerful, sweet, and clumsy sisly! I love you.

~Lolen

Hello!

2008-05-07T11:40:00.000-07:00

To my reader from LA: Thank you for visiting. I hope you’d drop me a line or two sometime.

~Pinay :)

2008-04-30T16:27:00.000-07:00

some contemplating going on...

Missing Charles

2008-04-29T13:54:00.000-07:00

I have a good friend named Charles. He’s a wonderful person. He is quiet but gets along with anyone pretty easily. I knew we’d be good friends the first time he said “Hi.”

Charles wants to be called PC. It’s short for Pastor Charles. Yes, he’s a Pastor. I used to call him Pastor and/or Pastor Charlie for the longest time til I finally trained my tongue to say PC. He likes it that way. I believe it makes him more comfortable especially with friends.

I remembered when the four of us (with Grandma and Apples) took a walk in the mall one Sunday afternoon. We went inside a video store to look for my “Oscar De la Hoya” album. I couldn’t find it there so we decided to check another stall. He was lost in the shelves so I cried, “Pastor!” He readily came to me and whispered, “Don’t call me Pastor here.” We went to the next store and again, he was out of sight. I stopped for a while, took a breath, and then blurted, “Charles!” He came out. He smirked and looked satisfied. Then I whispered back, “It doesn’t sound right.” My culture convicts me for being rude to call an elder by the first name. I will never forget that day.

PC is a very gifted person. Besides the anointing of leading a flock to Christ, he is blessed with skills that I always “wish I had” since a child. He loves photography and the art loves him back. He is excellent in this field. He would send me a couple or more of his recent photos every now and then. All the photos are awesome. I told him a few times to publish his work. He is very down to earth. He’s contented with preserving the beauty in his camera.

PC played the violin. If you’d been reading my blog for a while, you have an idea how this got me. I’m totally sold out to becoming a violinist. At least learn how to play it. I believe that this violin-cravings is inscribed in my bones. I guess I never had an opportunity to do that yet. So, learning that this man could actually fiddle was the coolest thing for me. Plus, he has a pair of blue eyes and looks handsome in barong. That's a rare combination. Having said that, he is my favorite character.

The PC that I know of is someone jolly and slightly naughty. Yes, he can be quiet, but believe me, he’s a frustrated comedian. He is very natural. However, everybody says that he is shy. It never occurred to me until that one instance when Apples and myself told him that (we sensed!) his lady guest was “interested” in him. In a split second, his face turned into an overripe tomato! No joke. It was a surprise. He was red all over. His transformation was so cute especially in his white skin. It happened again when a gal friend gave him a compliment in public. He instantly excused himself. I saw his ears start to turn red. When he returned from his untimely hiatus, he came to me and said sheepishly that they “did it” again to him. Probably he was really shy after all.

What I like best about my friend PC is that he owns a true spirit. Perhaps the right word to use is “pure” like what the Bible says. He loves the Lord. I see him as a man of integrity and compassion. He is serious and playful at the same time. He’s a gentle, sweet man, with so much warmth and care—which reminds me of my own Pastor-brother. PC is also an academic, that, I personally enjoy. I’m learning every time we exchange ideas.

I praise the Lord for PC. He’s both my correspondent and confidant. Though we agreed not to communicate in the mean while, he’s just a letter away.

Mam Dol

2008-04-25T11:21:00.000-07:00

This beautiful lady is Mam Dol. She is like a mom to us “kids.” She’s a very good friend and is very supportive of us. The first picture was taken during her despedida party at the Cariños. She left for Canada last month.

Happy birthday, Tan!

2008-04-22T11:35:00.000-07:00

Today is my little sister’s birthday. She’s 17. She is getting prettier every day. Happy birthday, Nene. I love you more than you think I do.

Rejoicing!

2008-04-18T11:08:00.000-07:00

Psalm 30:5

"For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for a lifetime; weeping may last for a night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning."

Thank you for your acceptance. I am at peace now. You blessed me once again. You know who you are.

Shame on me

2008-04-15T14:45:00.000-07:00

Almost a week ago I did something heartbreaking. At least it is, for me. I wrote something that I wish I didn’t have to write; a letter that caused me a lot of anxiety and plain sadness. But I thought it has to be written. It was very hard, I tell you. Especially that the person that will read it is someone I care about like a father.

He received the letter openly. And I thank God for being a Father to both of us. Yes, there was misunderstanding, but that was on my end. I was wrong. It was a shame. But I rejoice in the Lord that it was my mistake! Thank you for being Christlike in response.

Now everything is clear. And I can be carefree again. But I think it marred a wonderful relationship between friends. What a pity. But I’d rather resort to what I did than face destruction the other way around. (Tell me, is this part of growing up?)

So, because I was so ‘disturbed’ with my actions lately, I had to free myself of burden. What I did was a typical reaction from most women—I cut my hair.

a sister's joy

2008-04-10T14:15:00.000-07:00

I’m a big sis. And there’s nothing more elating for a big sis like me than to know that my younger siblings trust me. That’s one of joys of an “Ate.”

My little brother is an engineering student. He’s in his third year in college. He would casually tell me about his friends and his performance in school. I, sort of, have an idea how his normal school day would be; the different types of professors he had; the degree of intellectual capacity needed for each course; the craziness of his classmates; his triumphs and failures over his exams; and even the serious parts of being a student. He is open about his strengths and weaknesses. A few nights ago after eating dinner together he talked about his standing in two of his subjects. He said that he is very concerned about his performance—that he might not pass the course. I feel sorry for my brother for being worried. I told him he can do it. He has a good standing as a regular student and has a good chance of graduating on time. Today he sent me a message and said he didn’t make it in E-Mags. And he’s concerned about the results of EE. He needs to take a summer class for that course to maintain a regular standing come first semester. I said it’s alright. I know he feels sorry and I don’t doubt my brother. He just has to take the subject again and he’ll be fine.

Although I feel sorry that this happened to him, I’m glad that he would readily inform me and freely show his feelings. I thank God for making my family the way they are.

Happy Birthday, Nanay.

2008-04-10T09:37:00.000-07:00

She’s fifty-eight years old today, has she been alive. Wow. We missed celebrating with her for the last six years.

We miss you Nanay and we remember you all the more on this special day. I am forever grateful to God that you are our mother. I will always love you.

The price of honesty.

2008-04-09T17:47:00.000-07:00

I hope I did the right thing by being honest.

"Find rest my soul, in Christ alone..." Let me find peace in Your arms, Lord. Amen.

At the wedding

2008-03-30T23:48:00.000-07:00

The MYF Family with the newlywed

Sunday

2008-03-26T17:58:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

2008-03-13T18:52:00.000-07:00

It's Grandma's birthday today! I sent her a card and it arrived, I think, two days earlier. Anyway, they are planning a party for her; the cake ceremony at 8:08--since it's her 80th birthday. Actually, I was invited. I would have gone if I could...hehehe.

I miss her.

Happy Birthday, Archie!

2008-03-04T17:20:00.000-08:00

My little brother bade farewell to teenage life on March 1st. He’s 20; and Tatay and I had a plan about it--we made sure it was a memorable one for all of us. (Is there any better way to celebrate than to have ice cream?!)

I had to take over the kitchen. My menu? The undying spaghetti. Tatay made the best kalamay (rice cake) in the world—my bias shows! His friends and classmates came over on Sunday to join us in a simple celebration. I’d say we really pinned him that day. He was so touched.

I gave him a nice wallet for a gift. Tatay got him a wristwatch. He really was not expecting anything.

He had no idea I know what he wanted. You simply cannot underestimate a big sis. Surprise! Surprise!

Remembering Mom

2008-02-13T13:35:00.000-08:00

Six years ago on the very same day, I experienced the loneliest time of my life—we lost our Mom. That event changed our lives—my life—forever. It’s the eve of Valentine’s Day, an occasion that I have long taken for granted especially after this incident. But it was also an avenue that opened our eyes to see much of God’s goodness and work in the family. God is Love. He took care of us.

It’s of great joy and contentment to know that Nanay enjoys time with the Lord since. Today, and every day of my life, I remember you Nanay. I love you.

15 years past

2008-01-17T14:46:00.000-08:00

I particularly love this picture because it reminds me of the carefree days and joyful youth that my siblings and I shared growing up. I couldn't resist smiling every time I look at this photo specially that our faces were all white because of baby powder. I remember Nanay telling us to put those on after bathing. I was ten, Jai has just turned seven, Archie was four, and Tan was almost two years old then. Huh… the young days.

the girls

2008-01-07T17:58:00.000-08:00

Geng, Jing, Ayeka, Agape & Shane

From Friends whom I dearly love --The Racettes...Thank you!

2007-12-19T14:30:00.000-08:00

Hi Arlene,

Where would we be and what would we be doing today if Christ hadn’t opened our hearts and given us the ability to turn from our sins and receive Him as Savior and Lord? These questions should make us all cry out to God in gratefulness and thankfulness for His indescribable Mercy and Grace.

Nora and I pray that you have a wonderful Spirit-directed Christmas celebrating Jesus’ Birth, and an abundantly fruitful and prosperous 2008-year. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. –Matthew 6:33

We appreciate your friendship so much, and consider it a great privilege to be co-laborers with you in the great harvest field of the Lord. Thanks for standing alongside us and encouraging us to press on to the upward call in Christ Jesus.

Thank You Lord for sending Your Son to die for the sins of the world.

We love you!

Your Friends,

Mark & Nora
17 December 2007

Dinner pics

2007-11-21T16:53:00.000-08:00

So, here's Len in dress with the Validators and Winners.

grad pic

2007-11-20T14:25:00.000-08:00

Home, sweet home

2007-11-19T00:20:00.000-08:00

Here's a place of rest... our home.

On the way (with my sisters--Jai, Ate, Tan)

Home Base

Backyard

Front yard

late for school

2007-11-12T13:58:00.000-08:00

I’m late. Yes, late to take my graduate studies. Well, maybe not really, but it is ideal that by this time, I should be working on my thesis. Sometimes I feel bad about it; but remembering the real reasons why I had to delay makes it justifiable (and comforting). I miss attending classes, writing lectures, reviewing lessons, learning new things, taking exams, writing papers…. (besides the reports and papers at work, that is). Some people, like my Ate, don’t want to go back to school, but not me. I want to have my doctorate someday. Of course, that’s after I finish my Masters. It’s still a long way for me.

My friend professor from Florida State U. wrote to me after the ISTR Conference:

I'm glad to hear that the conference experience enriched your own learning. Have you made any decisions about entering a masters program, either urban planning or public admin? I hope you will eventually decide to do so; you're very bright and talented, and graduate education could help you take advantage of your potential.

I was very encouraged reading his letter. I had a chance to work with Dr. RB while he was a visiting professor here in the University last year. He is a respectable expert and a very jolly person. He likes almost anything Filipino. Not to mention the jokes!

Careerwise, perhaps it’s better that I take public administration or urban planning or any social sciences courses for my Masters. But I’m interested in Special Education. I believe there’s nothing like the joy of teaching. Whichever I decide to take, I made up my mind on one thing… I will be a student again next academic year.

Quiet time

2007-11-07T23:30:00.000-08:00

Life Decisions

2007-11-07T11:28:00.000-08:00

My friend and I have been having some “casual, serious conversations about life” lately. And it all boils down to the question of, “What makes you happy?” We both have some considerable realizations lately and understood that somehow, we are at a crossroad in life. She made her step, I started mine, too. I just pray that we had the wisdom from the Lord in the roads that we chose. As for me, I trust the wisdom of a good friend in the situation, especially that, I know God’s hand led the discernment. So bless me, Lord.

Honesty

2007-09-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

I hear people say, “Truth hurts”. I thought this always talks about the negative, in that, somebody has to be reprimanded for his wrong. But it’s not always the case. Inasmuch as I value tactfulness and respect, I also believe and strive to remain honest. I keep the old saying, “Honesty is the best policy.” In our language, we have a counterpart for this slogan. We say, “Ang nagsasabi nang tapat, nagsasama nang maluwat.” (Honesty keeps the relationship intact.). Most of the time, it pays to be honest. But I’d rather ‘hurt’ people by telling the truth than saying a lie. Anyhow, I feel weak afterwards. I don’t wish to hurt anyone, especially those I care about; never a friend. I just pray that my being honest would protect the person and myself from getting much hurt. I pray for understanding and an open heart. And I sincerely hope I’m doing the right thing.

ideal man

2007-09-24T17:14:00.000-07:00

something I got from my collection of reflections...

A lot of times I find myself lecturing the youth about decision making on relationships. For one, I believe that students have no right be involved in relationship—yet. Seriously, they are not yet ready. And when the time comes that one’s eligible, there are still ‘qualifications’ to consider. Am I idealistic? Unrealistic? I don’t think so. I believe in my heart, there is this one person uniquely and specifically designed for each one of us. Some people might think I must be living in a dream world. I’m just being honest here.

I don’t get into relationships because I didn’t want to. I believe that relationships prepare you for marriage; and it takes careful measure before you get yourself involved. In the first place, I wasn’t sure whether married life is what I’m directed to pursue, although I grew up in a wonderful home, and I know my parents showed us a good example of family and marriage. As time goes by, the idea of marriage is becoming more considerable to me. Perhaps it’s part of getting older. In any case, I’m sure it will not be soon.

I believe the Lord has designed someone to complement another, in almost every way. If you ask me, I want a man who fears the Lord; a man of God. I want him to take me higher in my level of faith, to lead, guide and protect me, to soar with me. I want him to enjoy life with me, to grow old together. I'd love us to sing together; I sing for him and he sings to me. He is the better half of who I am. I know the Lord’s chosen one has the blessing of the people we love, too. And things will be set in harmony. There will be challenges for sure, but there is also joy and security. He is an image of God’s love. Anyhow, this is just my thinking. Needless to say, God's choice is someone beyond our expectations. God knows who is designed for whom and I trust Him.

God loves us. And we are God’s dear children. It is our role to keep ourselves upright; to keep our worth. If you value yourself; you will be valued.

So, you might be thinking, no one would ever meet the standards I say. I believe otherwise. Somewhere out there, the Lord is preparing him. Isn't it exciting to meet him one day?

Thorn in the Flesh

2007-08-29T03:10:00.000-07:00

“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Cor. 12:7-10)

Last night I thought of writing about this topic. I’ve just read an article by Andrew Wommack. It was really informative and gave me new insights.

Anyhow, I wonder if most Christians are aware of their “thorn in the flesh”. Or maybe they overuse the term to justify struggles? The way I see it, a “thorn in the flesh” suggests that we have nothing to boast to God. Every one of us is dependent on God and on His grace and mercy; which simply implies that God will provide strength to our limitations. This makes me wonder, what about those who try hard to ask the Lord for something (like Paul) unaware that it is not intended for them? This may not only be spiritual aspect but could be physical, emotional, psychological, or even relational. Have we not thought of maybe it was really NOT for us? It could be that we are designed to win over that “thorn” through its daily presence in our lives. That’s something tough, I know. We all acknowledge the best plan of God in our lives and all pray for that to take effect in us. I pray that we will always hear what God has to say and be led according to His will.

To all brethren who are now struggling with something—people, circumstances, or whatever it may be—I pray that we all focus our eyes on the promise of God’s grace to us. May we know His perfect will in our lives and not let go.

Treasured Gift

2007-08-24T15:32:00.000-07:00

To Aidz

2007-08-10T14:12:00.000-07:00

My friend whom I dearly love... Happy Birthday, brother! You are such an encouragement and inspiration to us. You are a blessing. You are my best friend. Have many, many more blessed years ahead...

Get ready for a 'grand party' soon..... hahaha!

Cute pets

2007-07-30T18:28:00.000-07:00

Blackie

Princess

Musiq

Pete-look alike

of course,
"The Nosy" Sammy

Sweet Grandma

2007-07-19T15:28:00.000-07:00

Grandma is one of the reasons why my stay in the U.S. was so memorable. She is a sweet, lovely lady just like my own Grandmother. She is so warm, appreciative and caring—just look at Sammy, the cat. I like her sense of humor. She’s simply adorable.

Grandma is a beautiful woman. She looks gorgeous in her nursing uniform. Likewise, I’ve not seen anyone as good as her in handiworks. She is excellent in her craft. And her collections are awesome. She also likes flowers and gardening. She is fond of doing [Thomas Kinkade]puzzles, too . I admire her patience.

Grandma loves to keep family history. She is a pure-blooded Texas native. I enjoy listening to her stories; even if at times we heard it more than twice. I know she enjoys sharing those memories and it’s a healthy practice; and I believe I would also do the same if I were her age.

Grandma likes cakes. She keeps a Betty Crocker recipe book—one that looks older than me. Honestly, I know nothing in baking. The only recipe I could work on is my mother’s pancake which she willingly ate. I so love Grandma for eating those pancakes! Thank you!

Here are some pictures with Grandma.

Crem's bday celeb

2007-07-16T18:49:00.000-07:00

14 July 2007
Crem’s Place

Crem and his lil sis Carren celebrated their birthdays today (actually Crem’s birthday was on the 1st). It was like a reunion to us friends in high school—a few of us came: Philip, Mae, Nico, JR, Michael A., Homer, Chris, Jem, Tina and me. It’s a joy to see them all again. I was doubly happy to see two of my closest friends in high school, Crem and Tina. I love them both. Crem is actually my high school best friend. We had developed a genderless friendship that we both treasure up to now. Tina, on the other hand, was like my fraternal twin sister; she is my opposite in a lot of ways but we managed to synergize. We were always side-by-side. I should say she is still very pretty today!

It was a tradition to have a videoke whenever Crem celebrates his birthday. Everybody was done with his choice of song but me. I don’t sing. Only at church. But when they announced that no one will go home unless I sing (see the pressure!) I grabbed the mic and punch in the code of the song—guess what—Ghostfighter (Yuyu Hakusho) Japanese Theme! They went wild as I sang through the Japanese lyrics of our favorite anime. Haha! Nobody expected that piece. They all shouted, “Grow up, Bocoy*!” Not long after, they were singing with me! It was fun! At least we all got to go home after.

* (I was nicknamed Bocoy in high school which actually is a pseudonym for Bravo Company Commander—my designation as officer in our Preparatory Military Training [PMT]. Modesty aside, I was promoted from ‘Captain’ to ‘Major’ based on performance on field and was awarded Best Company Commander—besting our male counterpart :-p and I’m proud of it!).

Being single

2007-07-13T17:58:00.000-07:00

In about a month’s time, I will be “a quarter of a century old”, as a friend would put it. As some of you may know, I am single and a proud, bona fide NBSB* flag-bearer. Aside from being named “the counselor”, I earned a respect for being “tough”, “dense”, “deviant”, “manang or old maid” in high school. College was not much different; I was the jolly, loving friend without a “love life”. Anyhow, no one regards me as man-hater or androphobic. In fact, I keep a lot of healthy, purely friendly relationships with men. Everybody knows my being single is by choice.

I have learned that there are at least two connotations of being Single; either one is Single A or Single B. Single A is actually, “single and available” while Single B stands for “single with boyfriend”. Well, I have a third category to introduce: Single C, “single and Christian”. That’s where I’m in.

I am happy to have discovered very early in life that being “Single C” is a great blessing. It helped me discover and appreciate a lot of things on my own. I was able to focus my priorities and carefully set goals and standards in regard to my faith. It has become an ally in decision making. I know I have grown emotionally healthy as an individual. I gained a lot of genuine friends, too. And I treasure solitude.

One of my girl friends wrote me once, “I admire your love for God and your family. I honestly think you don’t need a boyfriend [at all]. There’s overflowing love you receive from your family, friends, and Him [God]. Likewise, you have distributed all the love and care [possible]. Sorry if I think this way, but I’m afraid for you since I know that you are pure, innately good, and I don’t want anybody hurting you…[August, 2004]”. I think that is sweet.

Does it mean I plan to be single all my life? I don’t know. I leave that to God. I prayed once for God’s direction; now it’s up to Him. When Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:8 (NKJV) "But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am;” My belief is reinforced.

I’m satisfied to be a ‘Christian single’. This is personal experience.

PS. A matured Christian who fears the Lord would be an ideal man. But to be single in the Lord is an experience! “Treat me as a princess and I’ll treat you as a King.”

*NBSB stands for No Boyfriend Since Birth

Gloomy Skies

2007-07-13T14:01:00.000-07:00

Blank.

Looking outside the window
Pondering.
Trees are dancing in the tune of the wind.
The sky is gray.
Dark clouds warn rain.
Why does it feel empty inside?

Vanity?

Hygiene
A set of clean, white teeth
Fresh breath
Clean, decent clothes
Clean nails
Neatness and order

Interest.

Music, theater, literature
History, culture, tradition
Arts, paintings
Nature
Boxing, basketball
Cartoons, children
Tales, folklores
Family
Miracles in life
Human relationships
Faith, Anointing
Values
Details
Solitude

No more dates

2007-07-11T14:44:00.000-07:00

This is a funny story. I sure don’t want to forget so I resolved to write it here.
Warning: this is a long read.

Since the latest Harry Potter movie (to date) is about to be shown here, I was reminded of the time I went to see one HP movie in the theater some years back. I’m actually not a HP fan, since I do not favor witchcraft in any form, but I went to see how the effects will come out. I normally don’t go to movie houses too—not my type—but I did for a second reason: as a little favor to someone. Actually, it was a pious suitor from long ago—who, finally, had the guts to ask me out after several years of wooing.

Fact: I don’t go out on dates. Period. But I went to see HP with him. He was a friend since we’re 12. We went to the same high school back home (with very exclusive number of students, only 30-34 in a class, three sections, 100 students total per batch). He was a shy boy and I made friends with him since we’re seatmates (our surnames start with the same letter; seats were arranged in alphabetical order). He was a legend in high school for three reasons: (1) being shy; (2) the math wiz; (3) chess grandmaster. (On the contrary, I was known as the counselor, the literary geek, and the school band and clubs’ president and corps officer). He was a good friend too. Out of the blue, he started giving me all sorts of things, (all four years) not missing an occasion—birthdays, Christmases, Valentine’s, etc). He even dedicated [love] songs for me on our foundation day--every year! I married him thrice in school festivals and strolled the HS building handcuffed with him(with guards of course!). Nanay particularly liked him. His mom, in turn, how do I say this—she loves me! After high school, we also studied at the same University in the city. You may have guessed, still him not missing any occasion. When we finished our bachelor’s, both of us chose to practice our profession in the University; I am in the social sciences field while he’s a Mathematics professor. And yes, still with his devotion. Yet, all those years, he NEVER asked me out. (Wait, maybe when we were HS sophomores, with almost half of the class altogether.) Perhaps he knew me well—I wouldn’t go anyway. Haha!

History set. As young professionals, he managed to keep in touch. Sending me messages every now and then until one day, he asked if I have seen Shrek (movie). I said no. He casually asked if I want to watch it with him. I politely refused. End of story.

Not very long after, he asked if I have seen another movie I forgot what. I said no. He casually asked me again if I want to see it and he’d be happy to accompany me. I said I can’t. End of story.

Now, he again asked me if I would like to see HP. He said since we’re both going home on a Friday night, we could take a stop to see the movie then go home together (to the province) . Then it dawned to me that I actually turned him down recently (twice). I might be too harsh on him to give another NO for an answer. So, I said it wasn’t a bad idea. After all, he can be trusted. I quite know him well and he is a gentleman.

It was a little surprise seeing him again. (Even if we work in the same university, we rarely—almost not at all, see each other.) He really looked like a professor. But he remained casual, same as we were in high school. He first invited me for dinner—of course coming from work, we’re starving! But I was so insensitive (I confess!) I carried my files and put it out as we eat. I really just wanted to be nice to him so I agreed on a “date” but I was working on a deadline then. Besides, it was strange just to eat with someone who wasn't saying anything at all. So instead of being mute, I discussed the research I was working on.

I told Tatay I’ll be seeing my friend (my father knows him) and we’ll be watching HP. Not a problem. The real problem began when we got in the theater. It was so full there were no more seats available (and people were standing). We had to stand all the time with our big travel bags each (remember, we were going home to the province for the weekend). Plus, the man to my right was so annoying. Where was my date? To my left, standing with a respectable distance from me. I really wanted to catch his attention and tell him to snap a blow to the jerk (pardon my diction) at my right. Poor me, he liked the movie (or was he so afraid tobe anywhere near me?). I told him about the man and he was so mad. He apologized for being unaware of what had happened.

After the movie, the next ‘struggle’ was at the terminal. For some reason, there were no more taxis/buses going home. We were stranded for about three hours. We both called home and said we'll be late. Finally we were able to find a ride. It was past 1am when we got to the drop off point where—my father and my big brother (who by the way, was our student teacher back in high school)—were waiting. Since there was no other transport available, I told him to head home and not to get off the taxi anymore. But he insisted. He politely brought me to Tatay and Kuya and apologized for being so late. Have I mentioned that my father is an adorable and just man? Tatay, in turn, thanked him for bringing me home safely and offered that he stayed at our home for the night. (I’d seen him turn red all over in the dark!) He politely refused but after waiting at the terminal for another 30 minutes in a deserted road at the wee hours of morn, he agreed reluctantly. We had late meal when we got home. I gave him a shirt to change from the teacher-outfit he was wearing. He slept (if he ever did) on the sofa at the living room.

He was up very early the next morning and politely thanked my father for the accommodations. Anyone can tell how embarrassed he was. He kept apologizing to me all the time. I understand him; if I were a guy, I wouldn’t want that to happen on my first date, especially when it was more than eight years in the making! Haha!

Since then, he never mentioned anything about it. Didn't even dare to ask me out again. Yet he still sends his messages daily.

So, do you think I’d still go out on dates? Tsk…tsk…

Unexpected, unexplored, unseen*

2007-06-25T12:41:00.000-07:00

*adopted from “Two Words”.

Yesterday’s news by The Gen was surprising (alarming!); I almost freaked out. Tsk…tsk… What now? >confused<

Ministry of helps

2007-06-21T09:44:00.000-07:00

This is Chris from Bayside Church. He was the guy at the registration. He was very helpful to us at the Thrive Conference. Thanks a lot, Chris. God bless!

The Northrops.

2007-06-18T14:01:00.000-07:00

Meet our lovely hosts in Daly City: PC and Grandma.

CLCD kids

2007-06-15T16:30:00.000-07:00

(At RB's workshop with other participants)

Gar, Cha and me

Guess who they asked to do the presentation?

To Tatay

2007-06-15T14:40:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 17:6,
"The glory of children are their fathers."

That's my dad!

amusing

2007-06-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

I have found myself a correspondent :-p
and I enjoy it.

June 14th

2007-06-14T15:49:00.000-07:00

Today, we celebrate our parents' 37th wedding anniversary.

Happy Anniversary, Tatay. We love you.

Bangkok Adventure

2007-06-08T15:01:00.000-07:00

Sharing Blessing

2007-06-06T16:26:00.000-07:00

Whenever people ask us, “What’s the best part of your trip?” we almost answer in unison, “The SNOW!”. You can’t blame us; we don’t have snow in the Philippines. And I confess, it brought an indescribable, wonderful feeling when we saw snow falling from the sky. It was awesome!

But the next thing I definitely enjoyed was our short visit to Cypress Lawn Cemetery. Why a cemetery?! Well, I like the ambience—so peaceful and quiet. I love the trees and the wild birds. The structures are amazing plus you’ll see a lot of interesting inscriptions on tombstones. I got to see a squirrel and hummingbird, too (for the first time!). And I can’t help but be in awe at the beauty of God’s creation. I call that a break!

Disneyland is a great place to go to. The site is awesome, the rides are wild plus the shows are great! I was inspired of the families I saw in there. They went like a small group; the father being the captain and his wife and kids as crew. I couldn’t help but tell myself, ‘If the Lord wills that I’d have a family of my own someday, I’d love to bring them to Disneyland—my husband leading us.’

I have so many other great things to share about the trip. Maybe later I’ll post one at a time. It’s best to put pictures, too. When I have the pictures ready, I’ll surely put some here.

But of course, above all, we marveled at the work of God’s hand in us. He blessed us beyond all we could ask or imagine. He made us minister to people of different race, culture, and language. He is awesome! Plus, he brought us to meet brethren and co-workers in Christ.

I love building friendship and keeping relationships. I’m so blessed to meet a lot during our stay in the West. They will surely be cherished and treasured. Praise the Lord!

7000 miles

2007-05-25T01:00:00.000-07:00

traveled and gone back; now, with lasting memories and cherished friendships.

ten

2007-04-17T16:01:00.000-07:00

hehe...look at that big-eyed girl. Haha!

mom's bananas

2007-04-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

Since I dreamt of my mother and our banana adventure, I kept playing that scene in my head over and over again. One reason is, it calms me. Also, I want to make sense of the situation. Why banana? Why not apple or mango? On her birthday the other day, I thought of this dream again. Then I remembered I used to accompany her to the doctor for her Wednesday checkups then. One time, we passed by the market place and she stopped to buy a lot of bananas, the kind that I eat. Then we rode on the front seat of the jeepney. I can feel how happy she was that day. She was so warm. And we held hands all those time. I didn’t bother about anything that moment; not even a single thought in my mind but the feeling of contentment beside my mother. That is one of the happiest memories of everyday life with her.

Today, I always buy bananas whenever possible. And for some reason, my favorite spot in any ride is the front seat. I guess I may not be aware of it, but it’s still her.

My lil' sis Tan

2007-04-12T09:54:00.000-07:00

Pressured

2007-03-21T16:28:00.000-07:00

I’m into much pressure today: at work, at home—not to mention matters of personal concern.

I pray for peace and God's providence. Amen.

In denial.

2007-03-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

Recently, my sister told me that she dreamt of Nanay. It was so vivid she thought it was real. She’s crying while sharing her dream. She was so frustrated not able to help Nanay in her condition. I pity my sister and I know she misses Nanay badly—we all do. I told her all we can do now is move on and face life with optimism. We can’t do anything about losing our mother but we can keep our family complete.

That’s another reason why being an Ate is a hard task. Somehow, I had to take over responsibilities to compensate our lost. My prayer is for the Lord to continue strengthening each member of our family and keep us standing from every storm that comes our way. I pray for joy and the peace that passes understanding. Amen.

November Birthday Celebrants

2006-11-16T16:56:00.000-08:00

So many people to greet this month.

Nov 1 - Olsen Racela - my ever favorite PBA Pointguard! Rara #17!
Nov 6 - Tita Nors, Ate Marie
Nov 10 - James
Nov 13 - Jing - my niece, wow she's 7!
Nov 16 - Sis. Nora, my friend Love
Nov 30 - Pastor Aries - my beloved brother and father in faith

Happy birthday to all of you! God bless you exceedingly, abundantly, beyond all you can imagine! And may the peace of God reign in your hearts and your body be strengthen for the glory of Christ.

reminisce

2006-10-13T15:09:00.000-07:00

naalala ko pa nung bata pa ko, maliit pa ako nun...

Faith, Hope, Love

2006-09-14T17:52:00.000-07:00

Faith makes all things possible.
Hope makes all things work.
Love makes all things beautiful.

May we have all three at all times. Amen.

God's Gift to Len

2006-09-06T12:01:00.000-07:00

Teeny and Aidz

Friends

2006-09-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

Bhey's Wedding Shower

Mhes and Czar's Wedding

New profile

2006-08-31T18:03:00.000-07:00

As time passes by, a lot of things had changed and continue to change. Who I was yesterday may not necessarily express myself today. Cheerful and friendly as I am, I realize there’s some degree of seriousness that’s been molding my personality lately. Looks like my being a perfect melancholic is taking into the picture. I guess that’s just part of ‘growing up’. Leadership has taken us into another level. Anyhow, still interested in history and culture, the arts and literature, and of course, music. Playing the violin is still my dream. I still enjoy stories and storytelling. Still conservative and traditional. Philippians 4:13 stands as my life verse more than ever. So what’s the change? A lot!

One thing I want to mention: It's only by grace that all else become possible. Thank you, Lord!

burn out?

2006-08-01T15:59:00.000-07:00

I'm currently serving in the youth body ministry in the city and am quite active. I enjoy it very much. Anyhow, I think I’m a little off-mode with the local church ministry. Honestly, I’m having second thoughts on asking my Pastor to relieve me on that post and that I transfer the responsibilities to a younger leader in church. I think she can manage it well. Most of the kids at church are in high school and college and my schedule as a working youth (I’m the only one, the rest are students!) does not jive well. Physically I’m drained. I feel like I’m exhausted all the time. I work from Mondays-Fridays (and believe me, this time of the year, I'm all-drown with my load--talk about the national congress I'm working on) and go home on Saturday mornings. Saturday afternoons we go to church for the prayer meeting and worship team practice. On Sundays, we have church service in the morning, youth fellowship in the afternoon, and me, core meeting until night. After the meeting, I rush straight to Manila (commute for about an hour and a half) and arrive around 9pm in the apartment. Sometimes I feel like I just want to push the PAUSE button. I want more time with my family, I think we hardly 'talk' lately. I miss them all.

I don't know why I’m typing this in the first place... I, I don't know.

Birthday Countdown...

2006-08-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

O.o

19 days to go...

ummh, getting old?! oh well...

Happy Birthday, Geng!

2006-07-20T00:12:00.000-07:00

It's my niece' 10th birthday. Happy Birthday Geng! I love you! I miss you so much! Oh, I wish to see you, Jing and Ayeka soon. Take care my darlings.

nostalgia

2006-07-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

Here’s my friend Crem and I at Bhey’s wedding.

We’ve actually grown up!

It’s the first time I ever joined a wedding entourage. I didn't think I would wear something like that if not for my best friend’s wedding (I had no choice). Time. I could still remember us wearing our pigtails in high school, laughing at almost anything, studying until dawn (sleepless nights) in college, and even getting our degree. I didn’t anticipate that she’ll really be at the ‘next level’ just a few months after graduation. Now, Bhey is a proud mom of a one-year old boy Lean. I love them both. I also like her husband, John. He loves Bhey. I’m happy for the couple. I pray for the best years to come their way.

When it's time to say, “I’m sorry.”

2006-07-05T14:27:00.000-07:00

I belong to a big, happy family. My parents raised us lovingly in a Christian home. Life has not been easy on us because of several tragedies the family faced yet the Lord did not allow us to carry the burden alone and used the family as our refuge.

Time passed like wind; my father, as sweet and jolly as ever, my older brothers have their own families, my sister and I have our job, and the little kids in the family are now in college. We remained the happy family that we were until this one incident—when my (other elder) brother (suddenly) had a bad temper. We love him so much but for some reason he became very grumpy. This change drastically affected the serenity at home. My younger siblings were always calling out to us, whining of being emotionally battered. They could not bear his attitude. We tried to talk to him but of no use. Eventually, his temper got into my nerves. I wanted to protect our home. I decided to give him some space. My siblings did the same.

Everything in the family went normal except that we all gave him space. We are not as close as we were before. Everybody seemed content but I miss the times when family relationship was none of our worries.

One night at church, my Pastor shared with us the power of forgiveness. How can God manifest in the lives of people with hurt and anger? I am a leader, I should free myself from the bondage of hurt. That night, I went up to my brother, hugged him and said I’m sorry.

We may not be as close as before but I am happy to finally say sorry to him. Then I said I forgive him. It was a major relief on my part. I just pray that the Lord would continue to touch his heart and heal the wounds that the enemy has sown in our family. I want my family back.

Thank God for His mercy. Thank God for His love. Thank God for humility and acceptance. Lord, may I continue to win the battle against the enemy. Amen.

my stubborn, dear friend

2006-07-03T16:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know if he can read this. Anyway, what I want to say is: Aidz, why ain't you coming home?! How could you leave us here? Come home soon! *sniff*

We really miss you.

???

2006-06-28T16:36:00.000-07:00

I found a pic of me in a dress... yup, my friend's wedding last year. Let me think if I post it here.

Independence Day

2006-06-13T15:02:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, June 12, 2006, was the 108th year of Philippine Independence. It's a National Holiday and everybody got to enjoy a whole rest day.

Ate Marie and I went to Redner's house and had a good time. We watched the DVD of our trip to Hong Kong-China last February---wow it was awesome!!! The fireworks display in Disneyland was really wonderful. I love the music most especially.

Then, we had our exciting "magic sing challenge". Hahaha! This is actually Part 2. We wanted to have a little fellowship together before the semester starts. And like we expected, there's something fishy with that mic. Imagine, Redner got as high as 97%?!! He was not even close to an acceptable tune! Hahaha! Anyway, that's how it goes when a preacher (redner), a dancer (Marie), and a youth leader (that's me) try to sing. If you want to know my score, my career high was only 78%.

It was a wonderful afternoon and a good break, too. I am looking forward to our next fellowship together.

Nanay

2006-05-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day! I want the world to see the love that brought me in this world: My Mother.
MOTHER
To know you is to know love;
Abundant, overflowing,
Encompassing all around you.
People may hurt you,
Neglect you, misunderstand you,
Yet still you love.
Your love reaches out
In tenderness, in empathy,
In understanding.
I can't help but be
A little bit better,
A little bit wiser,
A little bit stronger,
Because I have known Mother love
Such as yours.

Betty Jo Mings

Jai is twenteen!

2006-05-07T18:50:00.000-07:00

My sister’s no longer a teenager—she is now a woman. Happy birthday, Jai. I love you.

Happy Birthday, Tatay!

2006-05-04T18:53:00.000-07:00

Yup, my father is a senior citizen! He is 60 years old today.

Thank God for the gift of life! I love you Tatay!
Thank God for a wonderful Father. The most loving and caring I've ever known. You're the Best!

wrong message

2006-04-25T15:11:00.000-07:00

over the weekend, i received a couple of unwanted forwarded messages from a number i do not recognize. the theme was a mess and i totally dislike it. Annoyed, i took my cellphone and replied to this number saying: i pray that God would change your heart today; i pity you. automatically, the number responded and addressed me in my HS nickname. it says sorry he was just sending it to all numbers in his list and did not think would offend me. i was surprised to know it was someone from my HS so i asked who he was. i told him i don't like such types of messages; it does not promote good behavior and is explicitly blasphemous. he said sorry more than three times and since yesterday, been sending me a lot of 'Christian' quotes and inspiring messages. huh, what a way to learn a lesson.

Sometimes it helps to be bold. it felt good.

Happy birthday, Nanay!

2006-04-10T14:44:00.000-07:00

Today is my mother’s birthday. She is 57 years old had she been alive. I will go home tonight to celebrate with the family. We miss her so much, but her memory will live forever.

When she passed away, we discovered something very shocking. Her actual birthday was on March 10 and not in April. Instead, April 10th was her christening day. Anyway, we celebrate her birthday in April.

I realize, you can live all your life deprived of some things (like believing in something that may not be the fact) yet manage to have a wonderful life spent to the fullest. It’s God who makes life beautiful.

Tan

2006-03-29T13:32:00.000-08:00

The baby in the family is turning 15 on April 22. Wow! Ain’t that fantastic? My little sister is now a young lady! And I’m even more happy because she loves the Lord. She in involved in the campus ministry in her high school. I didn’t think she’d be a leader in an outreach ministry in her teens, much more in her school. Looking at this girl, she’s very shy to start with.

I believe that’s part of the ‘wonders of God’s work in people’s lives.’ It’s not we can do, it’s what He can do through us.

Windows of the World -China

2006-03-07T14:13:00.000-08:00

Can't believe it myself... I was in China!

CEBU-BOHOL Experience

2006-02-22T12:26:00.000-08:00

tons of pictures...will just post some of them...

AT THE HOTEL

In BOHOL

The Man-made Forest

The Philippine Tarsier

Panglao Island
Alona Beach

Loboc River

The Blood Compact in Mactan

Eating time: Downtown Cebu

I really had a great time in Bohol...I can't help but stand in awe of God's wonderful creation. I will go back to that place!

Love of my Life

2006-02-21T17:47:00.000-08:00

I was out of town for the last three weeks and am scheduled for another trip in the coming days… very busy schedule so to speak. I did not get the chance to reminisce and commemorate with my family my mother’s fourth year in heaven. I never forgot it though. It was the eve of Valentine’s Day four years ago when the Lord took the Love of my Life. I was totally wrecked. Life has never been the same again without her. But God is faithful. And I am happy that the rest of the family acknowledges His goodness. He gave us strength to hang on. Today we are living by His love and mercy.

Nanay, I know I have never loved anyone the way I love you. Sometimes I blame myself for this. I know God is jealous and He wants to be number one so He took you from me to be on top of my life. Am I being selfish for thinking this way? But I learned my lesson. God should really be first.

Four years have passed. By the grace of God we stand and by the memory of you I move on. I love you forever.

'contemplate'

2006-01-16T08:16:00.000-08:00

I asked God, "How do I get the best out of life?"
God answered, "Face your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, prepare for the future without fear."
Then He added, "Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and never doubt your beliefs. Life is wonderful if you know how to live."

Something personal...from a good friend

2006-01-06T11:10:00.000-08:00

This was on my birthday in 2004.

It feels good to read this letter. It’s written in English and Filipino (we call in slang Taglish). She’s one of my most treasured friends. Words of appreciation from her lift my soul. Thanks, Mare. You don't know how blessed I am to have you.

...

2006-01-05T12:49:00.000-08:00

I don’t rush into falling in love; for love never runs out. Even if they mock me because I’m single, I just tell them, “God is just busy writing the best love story for me."

MYF logo

2006-01-04T02:40:00.000-08:00